Have you heard about #subtweeting?

Thursday 24 September 2020

Have you heard about #subtweeting? This is a bit of a complicated one, and I’ve got to admit, I didn’t know what it meant until very recently. If there’s one motto of the Internet, it’s FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. And if there’s another it’s HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN WITH A TWITTER ACCOUNT.

So, watch out, friends.

To #subtweeting then... This is the shady, shady art of calling out someone you know in a tweet, without actually naming them. However, the specificity of the tweet leaves no alternative and the person the #subtweet is about will most definitely know that it’s about them.

Ouch. 

I’ve always marvelled at people who can be passive/aggressive either in real life, or on the internet. Whilst people – celebrities and mere mortals alike – seem to constantly be taking shots at one another, it’s those who do it insidiously, on the down-low that truly earn my respect. None of this ‘say it to my face’ nonsense; if someone’s going to slag me off on Twitter, I want it to be vague, mysterious and keeping everyone guessing. That’s my favourite kind of drama.

Pictured: Subtweeting adds a mysterious edge to a social slagging off.

For example, I could post a tweet slamming people who spit on the street (with a particular person in mind) and take to the internet in a covert way to let the world know exactly how disgusting I think it is...

“Who is still spitting on the street in 2020? Hello, people, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic here!”

Now, anyone who recently spat on the street in my presence would be losing their tiny, disgusting mind because they’d know, on one level that this was indirectly calling them out for their rancid, rancid etiquette. 

Alas, this example doesn’t really work because never in a million years would I hang out with someone who spits on the street. No social distance can save that friendship. 

But what is this obsession with #subtweeting really about? The internet is basically like one big secondary school where news travels lightning fast and you’re either in or you’re out. If everyone is super cryptic and vague about who they were making fun of that week, it would most definitely fan the gossip flames. Because until you know for sure – everyone is a potential target.

I can’t wait to read all the #subtweets about a millennial columnist who has no business telling us what is hot and not because I heard she wears socks and sandals.

Don’t @ me, bro.

This column first appeared in Connect Magazine, which you can read in full by clicking HERE.