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With Jersey applying new sanctions set by the UK and internationally, News Eye has seen a secret memo sent by the Government to financial services providers, which gives a frank assessment of the task in hand.
It also offers important guidance on how companies in Jersey should go out rooting out Russian money, which the island has gratefully received ever since a few hundred Kremlin-linked kleptocrats hoovered up state assets in the dying days of the Soviet empire and became billionaires overnight.
From: Olly Garch (Senior Policy Wonk, External Relations) and Ros Neft (Wonky Policy Senior, JFSC)
To: All Financial Services Providers
- Ok, so we all now have to root out any dodgy Russian assets that we might have in our trusts, funds, bank accounts, family offices, SPVs, IOUs, LOLs and other structures that we’ve invented to help clients avoid tax here and elsewhere.
- We appreciate that going through every file to find something dodge might take time. After all, separating all the dirty money from the legitimate wealth of Saudis, North Koreans, Libyans and Somalians etc is no easy task.
- Perhaps just ‘Control + F’ the word ‘Igor’ or ‘Ivan’ and see what pops up? It might sound onerous, but the Project Trident season is soon upon us – it’ll be something to keep the bored-looking student busy for a fortnight.
- Or maybe try to remember back to previous meetings? If a client requested a really long table and asked you to sit at the very far end, he could have links to the Kremlin.
- If you have a subsidiary in the BVI, Cyprus or Nevis, maybe double-check to see if your colleagues are still at their desks and haven’t quickly become bartenders or diving instructors.
- All Russians must be removed from the international Zwift system – we hope this will significantly impact their ability to cycle at home.
- Remember, Rusal is not another way of spelling Russell. And Sperbank is nothing to do with human reproduction.
- Please destroy all that flashy marketing material which Jersey Finance may have given you over the years about Russia being “a key overseas market for the island”.
- JPUT is now an event that we’ve invented for the next Island Games. It is NOT a vehicle by which Russian oligarchs were able to buy up great swathes of Knightsbridge and the City tax free.
- Maybe keep your referrals to Locate Jersey down a bit. Remember, the island gave residency to Roman Abramovich and the only reason he didn’t come was because he chose Israel instead. Dodged a bullet there!
- Similarly, the only reason we don’t have a superyacht or decent aircraft registry is our own incompetence rather than any plan or conscience decision to avoid dodgy assets. Please, when you go home this evening, raise a glass to incompetence.
- “Asset freeze” is not what you might experience on a north-coast walk in Jersey.
- Don’t listen to all the recent criticism by Deputy Mike Higgins – he used to work for the regulator so doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
- If you do find some dodgy money, no need to shout about it. Just pop over to Broad Street and whisper it into our ear over a chai latte and a milk chocolate Hobnob. After all, reputation is everything.
Hope that clears everything up. And remember, we’ve got your back.
Olly and Ros
