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A Jersey-born film producer, who has been looking after her father alongside her twin sister for around seven years, has opened up about the difficulties carers face in finding time to care for themselves.
Last week, Carers Jersey launched its three-year plan to “highlight, preserve and look after” local carers.
Accompanied by her dog Buttons, Julie Daly-Wallman opened the strategy's launch event by sharing her experiences.
“It’s only dad," she said, in a poignant reminder that how people sometimes find themselves caring for their loved ones without even noticing.
After the event, she spoke to Express about the carer mentality, and what needs to change...
Julie is a carer. More importantly, she’s a person with dreams and ambitions.
Pictured: Julie, accompanied by Buttons the dog, spoke at the launch of the Carers Jersey 3-year plan.
“In some ways, I have always been a carer,” she explains. “From an early age I had to help my mother and my father. My father struggled with doing his taxes so ever since I was a child, so I would do those with him.”
After a fall at the beach seven years ago, his condition drastically worsened. “Not long after the accident, his hands started shaking,” says Julie. “That’s when we realised, he had developed Parkinson’s. Soon after that he stopped being able to take care of himself”.
Julie, along with her twin sister Lara, have acted as carer for their father ever since. Buttons the dog helps too, jumping up on his bed whenever they visit him.
“It’s so easy to fall into that lifestyle without realising it’s happening. It starts with, 'Oh, I’ll visit dad today.' Then you find yourself doing his shopping occasionally, then you do it every time. Doctor appointments need to be made, so you need to arrange and attend those.”
Pictured: "It's only dad", or "I'm just looking after my wife": before long people can find themselves acting as a carer without noticing it happen.
“That coffee with friends, I need to look after dad so that will have to be cancelled. Before you know it, your social life is gone”.
Work can suffer, too. Julie works in the film industry but has had to make sacrifices over the years. “My career was only going one way,” says Julie. “I was receiving so many job offers as a script supervisor.” Her career has often been interrupted at times when it has been difficult to put herself first.
“When I was a very young carer, I would go to the cinema near Hotel De France and see the end credits and say to myself: one day my name will be up there.”
Julie now runs local film company Green Eye Productions, where she works with her sister. Green Eye have worked on projects Living With the Enemy and The Crooked Mile, the latter winning a Tribeca prize which is awarded to up-and-coming filmmakers.
Pictured: Green Eye produced Living With the Enemy, a film adaptation of the book by Roy McLoughlin which tells the story of islanders affected by the Occupation.
Green Eye are now working on their most recent film project Genuine Fakes, which promises to explore “the largest art fraud of the twentieth century.”
Prior to the launch of the Carers Jersey plan, Julie attended a Carers Support Programme ran by St John Ambulance. It was the first time that Julie had spent real time with other carers.
“A lot of carers turned up, from all walks of life and all sorts of situations,” says Julie. “It was so humbling to see”.
It proved to be an eye-opening and emotional experience. “A man called Doug was making tea for everybody and instinctively I told him no, I’ll make it.”
“When he insisted, that made me start crying. I wasn’t used to having someone look after me, for a change.”
Pictured: Carers Jersey have put together a 3-year plan which focuses on providing "recognition and respite" for carers.
The Carers Jersey plan looks to make a difference over the coming years to make sure that people like Julie get the support they need. Carers need caring for, too.
“Society needs to change, and businesses need to change,” says Julie. “People want to see it happen. We need to have empathy for each other and realise that the pursuit of money, of self-interest and of fame is not the only way to be successful in life.”
“Success is being a carer, too.”
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