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Deadly Diary is so grouchy he makes the Grinch look like the angel atop the tree. Straight outta’ CONNECT magazine, DD is about to lay down a serious tune for you – Xmas stylez.
This time of year has a knack of forcing everyone into the Christmas spirit even if it’s against their will.
So, here’s a Christmas carol with a Deadly Diary twist…
On the first day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: some carnage at the party.
On the second day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the third day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the fourth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the fifth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the sixth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
Pictured: There's nothing silent or holy about the way DD does Christmas.
On the seventh day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the eighth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: eight (or more) drinks made for drinking, seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the ninth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: nine CONNECT readers, eight drinks made for drinking, seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the tenth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: ten boredoms boring, nine CONNECT readers, eight drinks made for drinking, seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: eleven writing deadlines, ten boredoms boring, nine CONNECT readers, eight drinks made for drinking, seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the boss gave to DD: twelve days in lieu, eleven writing deadlines, ten boredoms boring, nine CONNECT readers, eight drinks made for drinking, seven yawns a’creeping, six “cease that disobeying!”-s, FIVE OLD THINGS, four drawling words, three clenched jaws, two verbal shoves and some carnage at the party.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, YOU HORRIBLE PEOPLE! DON’T EVER MAKE DD DO THAT AGAIN.
You can enjoy Deadly Diary's monthly column in Connect here.
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