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The founder of a men’s support group has spoken out about ways that social media and increasingly polarised conversations about gender are leaving many young men rudderless.
For years, the conversation around gender issues has centred on the challenges and systemic disadvantages facing women and girls.
However, experts are increasingly sounding the alarm about a looming crisis on the other side of the gender divide: the deteriorating mental health of boys and young men who are feeling lost.
Pictured: Matt Falla founded peer support group Man Club after his own struggles with mental illness.
To mark Men's Mental Health Awareness Week, Express sat down with Matt Falla – who founded peer support group Man Club after his own struggles with mental illness – to discuss the pressing challenges facing young men today.
Mr Falla cited research from Jonathan Haidt's book 'The Anxious Generation' that revealed a staggering 100% increase in anxiety, depression, and ADHD diagnoses among children aged 13-14 in the period between 2010 and 2014.
He said this can be a particularly difficult situation for young men in their late teens and 20s who often struggle to discuss their feelings – unlike women who often find talking about their feelings with their "social circle" a "cathartic experience".
Pictured: Men's Mental Health Week runs from 10 to 16 June.
"Men often don't see the point of talking about a problem with no solution," he said.
"If there is no solution, what's the point of talking about it?"
Meanwhile, as traditional male roles shift, some young men find themselves questioning their purpose in life.
"A number of men come to Man Club are not in crisis," explained Mr Falla.
"They just find themselves in a world where they're asking: 'What's my purpose? What's my place? What's my identity?'"
So what's causing this crisis of modern masculinity?
At the top of the list, Mr Falla said, is the pervasive use of social media and smartphones.
He explained that these technologies are rewiring young minds for constant dopamine hits through likes, and shares – rather than through experiences and friendship.
Pictured: Mr Falla said the rise of the pervasive use of social media is damaging the well-being of young men.
"It overstimulates young people during crucial years when neural pathways are being formed," said Mr Falla.
"The level of real, tactile friendships is diminishing, yet the number of followers is massively increasing.
"People can have the illusion of friendship, but the reality is just a whole list of people on their device, some of whom they may never see."
Pictured: "Figures like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson can fill a void left by a lack of real-world connections and role models."
Social media platforms, he added, use algorithms that create echo chambers while promoting extreme views and standout personalities.
Mr Falla said: "Stuck in ideological echo chambers, figures like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson can fill a void left by a lack of real-world connections and role models.
"This vacuum, coupled with a situation where boys are made to feel inherently bad for being masculine, pushes them toward extreme viewpoints."
He added: "I find it ironic that we have age restrictions on films you can see at the cinema and alcohol but not a 24/7 torrent of unkept, bile via social media."
Mr Falla also pointed out how polarising conversations about "toxic masculinity" can alienate young men and put them on the defensive.
"We need to avoid blanket phrases like 'toxic masculinity' which paint all typical male behaviours as inherently bad," he explained.
Pictured: "We need to avoid blanket phrases like 'toxic masculinity' which paint all typical male behaviours as inherently bad."
The term, he said, has become a catch-all phrase that is often perceived as an attack on masculinity itself rather than a critique of harmful behaviours.
While recognising male privilege and calling out bad behaviour is essential, Mr Falla warned that the pendulum has swung too far and is causing harmful divisions.
"We must seek equality, not retribution," he said. "Lifting one group up shouldn't mean pushing another down."
Instead of shaming men, Mr Falla said that encouraging a more inclusive and positive discussion about masculinity — one that rejects harmful stereotypes and speaks to commonalities across genders — is crucial.
Pictured: Mr Falla stressed the need for role models who demonstrate "human traits" such as kindness, empathy, and patience – irrespective of gender.
Mr Falla explained: "I'm often asked 'What traits should men have?' and I think it really polarises the conversation to have 'women's traits' and 'men's traits'.
"I think what we should look at is human traits."
He continued: "What am I what am I bringing my children up to be – irrespective of if one's a girl and one's a boy – is kind, caring, empathetic and patient.
"And I think if you can lay that across the sexes, the world's definitely going to be a better place."
Through initiatives like Man Club, Mr Falla hopes to create a supportive environment where men can openly discuss their feelings and find their place in a rapidly changing world.
The group offers a community for men to share their experiences and challenges, providing support through weekly meetings and informal gatherings.
"When you're in a meeting, you can speak if you want to, but there's no pressure," said Mr Falla.
"It's amazing how much silence gets filled when men feel they can talk about anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts without judgment.
"Man Club gives people a space to connect and start to deal with how they're feeling."
He added: "We're all just stumbling through life, trying our best."
Man Club meets every Monday lunchtime at midday, upstairs at The Deli at Snow Hill, and once a fortnight on Monday evenings at 19:00 at Pip's Place on Union Street.
Islanders are welcome to just turn up; there is no need to commit or inform anyone that you will be attending. Sessions are free for all.
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