"Get in touch with us before it turns violent"

Monday 04 January 2021

Islanders who fear they are at risk of abusing those closest to them are being asked to reach out for help before it is too late.

The Probation Service wants people who feel on the verge of abuse or violence to get in touch, even if they are not a current or past 'client.' They also want to highlight the support available to victims.

Chief Probation Officer Mike Cutland said: “The risk of domestic abuse and violence historically increases at this time of year and the challenge of coping with the pandemic and the increasing restrictions on our ability to work and socialise adds another layer of difficulty to the situation. 

“We know that for some people this difficult time has stretched relationships to breaking point; recently two men were remanded in custody following arrests for domestic abuse-related incidents. 

“Our service wants to do whatever it can to prevent people getting harmed. For many years, we have worked with clients who have not been arrested but have reached out for help in coping with relationships that they are worried will become abusive. Their feedback has indicated that they have found the interventions we provided to have been extremely helpful. 

“There is no excuse for domestic abuse and a key part of our approach is promoting responsibility.” 

Pictured: Probation chief Mike Cutland.

Mr Cutland added that, although the overwhelming majority of Probation’s work was with men, some women could also be abusive. 

He said some of the signs that might indicate a need to talk to the service were: increased hostility and resentment towards a partner; increased blaming and criticism of a partner; a desire to humiliate or punish; thoughts of harming your partner; and attempts to control your partner.

He added: “It is also important to monitor how you are coping. Signs of concern would include a tendency for self-pity or getting into a cycle of automatic negative thinking, whereby someone is always fearing the worst and nothing seems good enough for them. 

“These can be destructive and upsetting traits for the person experiencing these difficulties and for those living with them. We are aware that some people resort to increased drinking or drug taking in an effort to resolve these problems but the reality is they disinhibit and tend to make matters worse.

Pictured: The Probation Service wants to stop domestic abuse and violence happening before it gets to court.

“One of the common themes we hear from perpetrators is the cost of domestic abuse for them and their families. Relationships suffer and often end. 

“The impact on children caught in a family where domestic abuse is perpetrated is significant and many remain traumatised for years afterwards. Family life becomes an ordeal rather than something to be enjoyed. 

“Many perpetrators realise that they do not wish to have an identity linked to violence and abuse- it not only upsets them but can shock family, friends and work colleagues.”