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Bergerac, Top Trumps and Mamma Mia...Social media reacts to the fishing crisis

Bergerac, Top Trumps and Mamma Mia...Social media reacts to the fishing crisis

Friday 07 May 2021

Bergerac, Top Trumps and Mamma Mia...Social media reacts to the fishing crisis


In a fishing crisis on a scale not seen in over half a century in Jersey, eyes from across the map were on the island, with thousands of comments racking up online. Here are some of the hottest, funniest takes.

Maybe the best answers weren't with Jersey's Ministers after all - maybe instead, they were with that eternal fountain of knowledge and wisdom, social media.

Express has trawled the depths of Twitter to dredge up some of the thoughts, observations and comments making up the conversation - as well as the airtight solution the island missed...

For some, it was an education on the ins and outs of Jersey life, with comedian David Baddiel making a shocking admission about his lack of local knowledge...

Fortunately for the uninitiated, local writer, poet and former-Express reporter Martha MacDonald was on hand to give a breakdown of events for anyone outside looking in...

Moving from poetry to music, others had a similarly lyrical perspective of the blockade...

Mamma Mia...eanwhile, the 'RAF Luton', self-proclaimed as "the world's most mysterious and secret (and fictitious) military base" was also on hand to assist the UK Navy ships monitoring events, bringing with them a flawless disguise to leave the world's best strategists in awe...

Looking at the island's own boating industry, with seemingly an entire hoard of national journalists setting their sights on Jersey, Condor CEO Paul Luxon made the gravity of the day's events clear to one reporter...

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Henry Samuel, a Telegraph journalist reporting from the sea-level of the French ships, had some complimentary words for his French companions...

Another reporter on the scene, Matthew Champion, expressed his surprise at just how essential a vessel tracker had become to his work...

On the subject of the ships that were involved, it seemed one of the tabloids was involved in a bizarre high-stakes game of Top Trumps with itself, much to the confusion of users...

The island's hospitality industry was already looking to capitalise on Jersey's newfound fame, with The Club Hotel releasing details of an exciting cross-Channel themed staycation...

Jersey businesswoman and owner of aMaizin' Adventure Park, Kristina Le Feuvre, expressed her island pride...

Real Housewife Dr Tessa Hartmann CBE decided she knew the real root of the issue - her own television programme, and other parties "fishing for attention"...

Diplomatic sanctions were one observer's solution to the crisis, matching France's threat to cut off the electricity by taking away an even more vital resource from them...

On a more catastrophic level, the account for the BBC's 'Have I Got News for You' suggested that the blockade was only the first step in a war that could only end in nuclear oblivion...

Financial Times Chief Political Correspondent, Jim Pickard, also anticipated that the war would be something generations would speak of...

... and perhaps the stories Mr Pickard would be telling his grandchildren, would be punctuated by these inspiring words from 'DIMBLEBOT'...

Anticipating the great battle, Jersey YouTuber 'sips' was bracing himself to be conscripted for the army...

...conscription being a situation which the Telegraph's cartoonist soon was illustrating...

Football pundit Gary (Salt and) Lineker sent his best wishies to the fishies... which led to a football/piracy-inspired proposal to solve the crisis...

Perhaps the growing hysteria around the potential 'Battle for Jersey' was best captured by local artist Will Bertram (instagram: @billwertram), who turned to the ever-reliable Simpsons to sum up the Bailiwick's mood...

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Some saw the greener side of a potential war, with the Financial Times' Sebastian Payne espousing the virtues of one of the Navy warships keep an eye on the island...

To better reflect this changing shift in global relations and power dynamics, journalist Sam Morgan suggested some tweaks to the cover of the latest Economist...

Sam_Economist_Screenshot.png

However, despite a number of creative solutions and observations on the issue, it seemed social media was united on one thing only - that it was time to bring Jersey's true hero out of retirement to sort things out...

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