VIDEO: Life at the men's refuge

Monday 13 November 2017

“Homelessness has no face at all,” Matthew* explains. And if it did, he certainly wouldn’t fit the stereotype. Express met him at the start of Homelessness Awareness Week.

The 59-year-old looks every bit the gentleman in his neatly-pressed black shirt and matching blazer, accented with a bright pocket square. He cuts a smart profile, which, together with the soft timbre of his voice, would have you believe he was accustomed to the world of hospitality.

But the father-of-two hasn’t worked in years. Marriage difficulties aggravated by mental ill health left Matthew without a dwelling - one of the island’s ‘hidden homeless’. ‘Hidden’ not only because he didn’t fit a stereotype, but because he wasn’t left without a roof over his head immediately. He was able to stay with his son, but was forced to leave when his presence could have put his son’s own accommodation at risk.

While the most recent census logged fewer than 80 homeless people, it is thought that those, like Matthew, who are forced to 'couch surf' - sometimes in the States-owned properties of friends - could push the number into the hundreds. “You have to scratch the surface. Every holidaymaker that comes here thinks it’s fantastic, and it is a fantastic, beautiful place to live, but... Things get swept under the carpet,” Matthew says.

Video: Sanctuary gives Express a tour of their men's refuge, where they offer support, advice and a vital roof over the head of those who need a helping hand to get back on track.

He’s been a resident of the Sanctuary Trust for two years now. Firstly, he stayed at the 10-bedroom St Aubin refuge, but is now a ‘graduate’ and living at Sanctuary Lodge, an independent property for 14 residents without permanent staff cover.

While his first contact with the men’s charity started two years ago, his story really began at the age of nine when he first realised he was “different.” “I never really fitted in. I can only explain it like when you’re in a photograph, I always feel like I’m taking the photograph, not in it.” 

Burying those feelings, however, was destructive for both Matthew and his loved ones. “We don’t always realise we have a work hat, a home hat, and so on, and we try and hide things, but you can’t hide it for too long.” Oscillating between chaotic highs (“you get this feeling of grandeur… I felt I can walk over a road and not get knocked down but yet there’s cars passing”) and dark lows took its toll on his relationship, and eventually led to a marriage breakdown. “It’s not all about the mental illness itself, but the carers. I always believe a carer needs a carer to cope.”

Like so many of Sanctuary’s residents, he didn’t end up homeless because of choices of his own, but having the blanket of support pulled out from under him. A good deal of referrals do come from HM Prison La Moye and drugs and alcohol support services, but many are those simply having a ‘tough time’. “They just want a bit of respite. It’s not rocket science, that’s what it boils down to,” compliance manager Carl Blackmore explains.

Pictured: The Grace Trust and Co-op play an extremely helpful role in keeping the charity's kitchen well-stocked.

And when it comes to who needs that respite, looks can be deceiving. Carl recounts a time when a resident pulled up outside Sanctuary House in an Aston Martin. “A fancy car was literally all he had in the world; he had no job, nowhere to go. It looks impressive, but how would you get to know that story unless you got to know him? ...We’ve had people who’ve been company directors, successful estate agents - whatever may have happened has suddenly happened, and happened with a bang.”

Mid-interview, he escapes to liaise with someone in need - this time a poorly paid retail worker, “full of cold” but holding it together to make his young daughter proud. “He feels like crap, he’s already been told about being careful because he’s on probation - those are all pressures that to walk around with - even if you’re surrounded by a really close network - would be hard.”

But Jerseyman or not, employed or unemployed, with or without mental illness or addiction, everyone is equal - and equally deserving of help - once they’ve set foot through Sanctuary’s door. The staff’s key qualities, manager Ian Tomkins says, are empathy and being a good listener. Many of them have experienced difficulties themselves, and are less judgemental for it.

The process begins with a sit-down chat to ascertain residents’ needs, before getting them any specialist help. In Matthew’s case, this was the correct medication and a dedicated counsellor. He says he was reluctant at first, but is now infinitely grateful for the help.

Pictured: The refuge tries to be a sanctuary both inside and out.

But it’s not a forever home, and there are reminders of that - support pamphlets stacked on the landing, a 22:00 curfew, bold font signs warning to close doors quietly and keep trainers off the sofas. A personal space is the first step. The next involves confidence-building exercises - everything from gym sessions, to cookery and budgeting lessons, and even guitar lessons with Ian. They’re also engaged in a number of volunteering opportunities like soup kitchens and working at marathons. “It brings people out of their rooms… Someone can move in, and the hard work can be stopping the person from isolating.”

Camaraderie amongst the residents adds another layer of support - something especially appreciated by the ex-servicemen that have passed through (the charity has a strong relationship with the Royal British Legion).

Reintegrating into the community is just as reliant on their efforts as it is on the acceptance of others around them, however. The shelter has been open for six years now, but initially faced fierce opposition in the Planning stage from neighbours who feared criminality and the value of their houses being diminished. With time, their fears have proven unfounded, but even now, Matthew says he’s faced stigma. On one occasion, he was told to stop sitting at a nearby bench for no apparent reason.

Pictured: A few reminders that the refuge isn't home.

But he remains unshaken in his resolve to find a place of his own - a struggle in itself due to “astronomical rents” - and employment (“It’s a god-given gift to work, by the sweat of our brow”).

Thanks to his time at Sanctuary, he says he’s learned “not to punish [him]self” and been “released from the pressures of the past.” “Everything’s a lot brighter. I’m at my happiest. I can safely say that I’ve never thought about that before, but I’m at my happiest.”

He knows that his journey isn't over, however, and recognises that he could still be prone to slips, but the team will remain on hand to help long after he’s left and become one of the more than 200 helped by Sanctuary so far.

Some stay mere weeks, others for more than a year - either way, the refuge's rooms are rarely unfilled. And the pressure is set to continue as they enter “busy season”. According to Carl, “the peak periods are January 1st and 2nd.” Families keep together for Christmas for the sake of the kids, and then it all falls apart. There’s also the issue of the ageing building - a 70s-style converted guesthouse - but the charity makes good use of its modest means and receives excellent support from the Coop and the Grace Trust with food.

Pictured: When residents close the door on Sanctuary, the charity doesn't close the door on them - they still remain committed to supporting former residents.

Soon they’ll be having improvement works done, Ian enthusiastically explains, but, of course, they’ll need donations to keep moving forward. That, and the support of the community.

“It’s a conversation stopper,” Matthew says of openly discussing his homelessness and mental health problems. “I’ve even had that in the church… There’s always that catchphrase, 'What do you do for a living?'... And the conversation just moves away.”

But he hopes that by speaking out, he will help get the conversation started. 

Find out more about The Sanctuary Trust by clicking here, or Homelessness Awareness Week by clicking here.

*Name changed to protect anonymity.

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