What it's like to care for my brother...

Saturday 13 June 2020

Two young islanders have opened up about what it’s like to look after a sibling with a long-term condition as part of a national campaign to highlight the important role carers play.

To mark Carers' Week, carers who receive support through the Youth Service this week had a virtual party to celebrate what they do as part of a project designed to support them in their roles which often see them taking on tasks that an adult would normally do.

The service established a project in 2017 called ‘My Time for young carers’ with funds from the Independent Jersey Care Inquiry, and runs free youth club sessions, activities and courses for young carers.

Youth worker Ciaran Doherty, who leads this project commented: “Young carers regularly make sacrifices to care for a loved one and provide invaluable support to that person. Young carers do not always get much time for themselves and that is why it is so important that we provide them with a safe space for respite where they can have fun, get support and meet other young people in similar situations.”

On the last day of Carers Week, Express spoke to two young carers – Skye and Riley – who do their bit to look after their own younger brothers who each need some extra help.

13-year-old Skye cares for her brother who has autism and ADHD by helping him to make his bed, looking after him, sorting his medication and helping her parents when they need it.

In her own time, Skye says she likes reading and playing on her DS.

12-year-old Riley’s brother, Nixon, has a muscular condition which means he needs a lot of support doing things like getting dressed or getting down the stairs.

Riley, who loves kickboxing and martial arts, told Express that he “like[s] spending a bit more time with” Nixon when he’s caring for him. 

Echoing this sentiment, Skye thinks that being a young carer increases the connection between her and her sibling. She said: “You just get a better bond with the people you care for. Because people who aren't young carers they get to go out with their friends to town and they're basically never around their families, so it’s like you just have a better bond than anyone else usually would.”

Despite how much they enjoy caring, both of them said that their down time is really important for them. Riley said: “I think it's important because you can have time to chill out and like do stuff you never thought you could do in your own time like, with the Youth Service, you could go kayaking and stuff." 

Although he added he’s often thinking of Nixon when he’s trying knew things: “Obviously, my brother can’t do that stuff and I don't like doing stuff that he can't do because I like to have the experience with him.”

For Skye, she needs time away from caring to keep relaxed, saying: “I think it’s really important to have your own break. If you don’t have a break and you’re just non-stop caring and doing chores then you’ll just get like too stressed, and then bad things happen when you’re too stressed. So, it’s just really important.”

Pictured: Skye says she relaxes by reading books.

The My Time project has continued to meet every week during lockdown and the youth workers have been in regular contact with the young carers should they need any support whilst face-to-face meetings couldn’t take place.

Both of the young people agreed that the Youth Service helps them because they can be with people who know what it’s like to be a carer. 

Riley said that “some young carers don’t even realise that they are” but that the Youth Service project allows him to “meet other people who are in the same situation as [him] and meet really kind staff.”

He added: “It's like dream come true to be there.”

Skye said that ‘My Time’ is a chance for her to escape the responsibility of being a carer and have fun with her friends.

“It's not all just about like caring. It’s kind of just like being a normal person there, it’s just like being a normal kid.” 

When asked if she had a message for other young carers who might be finding things challenging at the moment, Skye had this to say: “What I would say is it's okay if you can’t do everything. You shouldn't like expect yourself to be able to do everything, because obviously like you’re not perfect and nobody can do everything.”