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AGONY AUNT: "I don't have any hobbies. Not a single one!"


Sunday 23 October 2022

AGONY AUNT: "I don't have any hobbies. Not a single one!"

Sunday 23 October 2022

Jersey's favourite socialite-turned-Agony Aunt has been called upon again, this time to help a busy islander find a hobby

Fenella Bond had this to say to 'Hobby-less in Haute-Croix'...

Dear Fenella,

Long-time reader, first time caller here. I’ve seen all the great advice you’ve given to other people about much bigger problems than my own, but I wondered if you might be able to help me.

I’m in my 30s and, up until this point, I’ve mostly focused on my career and my social life. I thought I was a relatively fulfilled and happy person, but it dawned on me the other day that I don’t have any hobbies. Not a single one! If binging Netflix doesn’t count, then I’m doomed!

I don’t want to look back on my life and think it was empty – what happens when I retire? What will I do with myself? Oh god, I’m spiralling again. Send help!

Loads of love,

Hobby-less in Haute Croix

Hi babes,

Thank you soooo much for writing to me and in doing so, you’ve helped me with one of my fave hobbies: reading fan mail! Can I just say that I don’t think you should compare your struggles to anyone else. Just because other people find themselves in more difficult circumstances, doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t valid, okay? It’s like, the other day, I fried a strand of my hair with my straighteners, and it was really important for me to seek out a safe space by going live on Instagram to cry about my phobia of split ends.

The moral of that story is to always speak your truth and never use the highest setting on your hair tongs. 

Now, I think what is awesome is that you’ve identified the problem which is the first step in making any big life change. And, reading between the lines of your letter and filling in some blanks using my powers as an Empath, I think that problem appears to be that you don’t have any hobbies and you would like to find some hobbies.


Pictured: The key, says Fenella, is to "give yourself permission to unwind and relax" to do things "by yourself, for yourself"

Clearly, you haven’t got an empty life. You say you’ve been working hard on your career, you’ve got a great social life and from your sign-off, I can see you’re living in Trinity – so clearly things aren’t going too badly for you! 

But it’s very important that you give yourself permission to unwind and relax by doing other activities that aren’t work or socialising, but are just nice things you do by yourself, for yourself.

(If you want some more inspo for how to enjoy your own company as much as I enjoy mine, just check out my new podcast called ‘Me-Time with Fenella Bond’ – available wherever you get your podcasts!)

Now, to the nub: having hobbies is super important because not everything can be work, work, work. It is such a capitalistic world these days – money is the only thing that makes the world go round and it’s so worrying that we’re turning into work-obsessed automatons.


Pictured: ..."Yoga"..."pilates"..."yogalates"..."pilogaletes"..."yopilogalates!"

Life is about so much more than making money and so I deffo want to help you unlock your best self and find a hobby that brings you joy and reminds you of what is most important in life. #EatTheRich.

However, if you do end up getting really good at your hobby, make sure you turn it into a side hustle business because you’ve got to get those sweet, sweet girl boss dollars, babe!

Let me tell you a few of my own favourite hobbies in the hopes it might inspire you...

  • Horse-riding
  • Anything to do with boats
  • Wine tasting
  • Travelling the world (obvs)
  • Absent-mindedly singing in public until someone compliments what a lovely voice I have
  • Yoga
  • Pilates
  • Yogalates
  • Pilogaletes
  • Yopilogalates
  • Saying ‘boo’ to geese
  • Sipping iced lattes and looking unimpressed
  • Getting lost in the supermarket to connect with my inner child
  • Eavesdropping
  • Giving infants realistic career advice (not everyone can be an astronaut!)
  • Making my own perfume from wildflowers in my garden
  • Changing the world, one agony aunt column at a time
  • Buying desserts and then pretending I made them
  • Getting out of jury duty
  • Negotiating with my father about my allowance
  • Winning ‘Best Dressed’ competitions
  • Smoking socially
  • Drinking alone

These are just a few that come to mind, but honestly, I have so many hobbies, I start to lose track. But not everyone is capable of spinning as many plates and still being positively extraordinary and vivacious at everything she tries her hand at. Maybe for a beginner like yourself, you should maybe just do like a pottery class or something?

I heard somewhere that to find out what you want to do with your life, you should think back to what you loved doing as a child. Now, for me, I remember I absolutely loved the summer where I managed to source a plastic surgeon for my Barbie dolls, but I’m sure you were into other stuff too! 


Pictured: Why not try a pottery class? 

Remember no hobby is too big or too small – the most important thing is that it makes you happy and gives you a creative outlet from all the stresses and strains of the rest of your life.

I believe in you, and I’m sure that if you heed my advice you’ll go from Hobby-less to Hobby-abundant in no time.

Hugs and kisses,

Auntie Fenella xxx


This article first appeared in Connect Magazine, which you can read in full below...

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