Co-parenting a Covid Christmas

Wednesday 16 December 2020

Even in normal circumstances, co-parenting can prove a challenge… So how to navigate it while ensuring children don’t miss out on festive cheer with their whole family this Covid Christmas?

Local family law firm Corbett Le Quesne shared some advice on coping with the latest restrictions…

"The Government has been faced with unprecedented levels of positive cases of covid-19 in the last few weeks and we are all feeling the stress of it.

Press conferences have been called last-minute and everyone was waiting eagerly for the new rules to cover Christmas. People were forming their own bubbles to keep themselves and their loved ones safe while making provision for specific needs like contact and childcare.

The guidelines were revealed and people are still trying to negotiate who can see who when over the festive period.

Pictured: Islanders have been advised to only attend gatherings of six to ten people on three occasions over the festive period.

Figuring these rules out when you are a two-home family might feel like an impossible task. The main thing to remember is that children can go between households and there is a presumption that it is better for children to see, and be encouraged to have a positive relationship with, both parents. 

This will be a ‘Covid Christmas’ no matter what we do now, so how can you deal with co-parenting at this time of year? 

• Show your children that you understand they may have confused feelings. Between contact and covid they may feel worry and anger. Let them know you are both keeping them safe and that it is ok for them to feel happy when they are away from you. They may feel guilty if they have a nice time with their other parent and that is the last thing you want.  

• "'One can never have enough socks,' said Dumbledore. 'Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.'" - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
  
  Many people are struggling financially this year. Christmas is not about presents, it is about your presence. Don’t spoil children with gifts, spoil them with love and attention. Co-ordinating presents and perhaps agreeing a budget can reduce potential conflict. If raising this issue will increase tension and cause problems then avoid the subject but be mindful of the impact on the children if presents could cause them to feel conflicted. 

• Reassure them that Father Christmas will find them wherever they are. 

• Embrace traditions. Talk to the children about the traditions you want to keep and suggest some new ones that you can treasure for the future. If you are from countries with different traditions you can each make the most of celebrating your own heritage when they are with you.

• Don’t communicate any negative thoughts or feelings about your ex or how you may be feeling to the children. If you are worried you will be lonely without them, arrange something fun to do for yourself, there are lots of people in the same boat. The Covid rules this year mean you can mix with other households, just be aware of numbers. However, protect yourself and your loved ones by being sensible and limiting the number of different people you see.  

Keep your children safe, follow the guidance and use your common sense. For many people that will mean mixing a lot less than the rules allow. Educate your children about safety at this time but there is no need to scare them.

As adults and parents and role models, we can protect them without ruining this special time of year. And after Christmas we may find things take longer to get back to normal than we would like, so look after yourselves and save some energy for the New Year.

This is a time for love and support, and this year that matters more than ever.

Have a good safe Christmas."