This week, we could all raise our glasses as our elected politicians voted to support happy hours and cheap booze.
With no consultation and despite warnings of already-excessive alcohol consumption and the dangers of covid ‘super-spreading’ in congested indoor spaces, the States Assembly chose to back discounted drink in pubs and restaurants.
To celebrate this hard-fought victory for the drinking man and woman, it’s time for us to stand up, spill half our pint, knock over a chair, put our arm over the random bloke next to us and join together in drunken revelry.
Hopefully you know this famous call–and-response song bellowed in many a pub across the land:
- There’s a house down our road. (Boo!)
- It’s a public house! (Yay!)
- They don’t sell beer. (Boo!)
- They give it away! (Yay!)
- There’s only one person in there. (Boo!)
- It’s Deputy Lindsay Ash! (Yay!)
- He’s only there for one hour. (Boo!)
- It’s a price-slashed happy hour! (Yay!)
- He’s talking about election campaign slogans. (Boo!)
- Which is ‘Get on the lash!” (Yay!)
- Congested indoor spaces are ideal for Covid transmission. (Boo!)
- But he wants us to socialise at the pub more! (Yay!)
- He says he doesn’t want foam parties outside the Cock & Bottle. (umm … Boo?)
- Instead, he wants to save the pub trade from disaster! (Yay!)
- But the hospitality industry actually say they weren’t consulted and they don’t want price promotions or happy hours. (err … is this a Boo or a Yay?)
- Instead they say it will actually do more damage than good! (Now I’m getting confused).
- It will mean more money going into tills of hard-pressed pubs and restaurants (This one’s definitely a Yay!)
- But most of that will actually go straight to the Government in the form of taxes! (Bugger, didn’t see that coming).
- There was zero consultation before Deputy Ash’s proposal (Boo!)
- But the States Assembly backed it anyway! (Yay!)
- It seems that actually very few people think cheap booze in the middle of a pandemic when levels of alcohol consumption have risen anyway is a good idea. (Boo!)
- But thankfully the final say will rest with the Licensing Assembly and not politicians! (Yay!)
Famous Drinking Singalongs - No 48
Altogether now: “I used to police face mask use in an old department store (etc.)”