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As we know, French is an official language of our parliament so this week's News Eye provides a service to the many Gallic speakers here.
Following last week's exchange in French in the States Assembly between Deputy Montfort Tadier and the Chief Minister, Express thought it was our civic duty to provide you with a translation of Government CEO Charlie Parker’s appraisal by an independent assessor, published this week, in an appropriate lingua franca.
Keep reading for the English 'translation'...
Sommaire Exécutif
Étant ami avec Charlie depuis plusieurs années, je suis ravi de publier son évaluation. Elle aurait été publiée plus tôt, mais la publication a été retardée en attendant les amendements et améliorations de Charlie.
Dans l'ensemble, Charlie pense avoir atteint tous les objectifs que Charlie s'était fixé. Tout le monde est vraiment content, surtout ceux qui ont quitté l'organisation. J'assimile leur silence à un contentement heureux, rien à voir avec les ordres de bâillonnement qu'ils ont signés.
Les commentaires ironiques du personnel à propos de Charlie ont été bien reçus. Des mots comme «dictateur», «intimidateur» et «laddish» montrent simplement sa force. D'autres disent qu'il est comme Néron, qui jouait pendant que Rome brûlait. Quelle belle façon d'assurer la régénération urbaine!
J'ai aimé suivre Charlie au cours des derniers mois.
Charlie a souvent été vu en train de se mélanger avec le personnel à la cantine. Il choisit toujours un déjeuner sain. «Quel salaud!» le personnel disait.
Le personnel voulait que Charlie dégage. "Dégage!" ils ont dit. Et il l'a fait!
Nous sommes vraiment blessé d’avoir Charlie. Il est devenu un gros crapaud .
Les Scores
UneGov - 10/10
L’Équipe de Jersey - 10/10
Modèle Opérationnel Cible - 10/10
La relation avec l'Assemblée des États - 10/10
Executive Summary
Emboldened by strong and verdant green shoots, the sinewy Charlie, astride his charger Johnny, rode in front of his people, waving the One Gov flag and calling them to arms.
As they all stood as one, their voices reached a crescendo, offering a stunning level of support.
Like a Roman Emperor, strident and proud, Charlie played melodic ‘mood music’ to inspire his loyal troops.
At the end of 12 months of relentless, heroic activity by Charlie, the Government seemed poised at the beginning of 2020 to start benefiting from his first two years of Greatness.
But just when people were reaping the fruits of change, gorging on the succulent flesh of their ripened bounty, the wicked whirlwind of Wuhan struck, forcing Charlie’s ripped torso to wrestle with the Eastern dragon. With his sharp intellect and profound strength, the Covid chimera was slain.
But Charlie’s unbelievable ability to respond to this game-changing and life-threatening challenge will be the subject of my next appraisal.
I have enjoyed following Charlie around over the past few months.
Charlie was often found mixing with staff in the canteen. He always chose a healthy lunch. “What a salad!” his staff would exclaim.
Staff wanted Charlie to engage. “Engage!” they said. And he did!
Overall, we are truly blessed to have Charlie. He has become a great Jerseyman.
The scores
OneGuv (and that’s Charlie) - 10/10
Team Jersey - 10/10
Achieving TOM - 10/10
DICK and HARRY - 10/10
