After local data revealed that boys’ self-esteem has dropped more sharply than girls’ for the first time on record, five young men opened up about how social media and gym culture are promoting narrow ideas of masculinity by encouraging them to suppress emotion, chase unrealistic body standards, and constantly compare themselves to others.
Speaking to Express ahead of Men’s Mental Health Awareness Week, five Jersey sixth form students criticised how platforms like Instagram and TikTok are pushing out content that promotes a narrow and damaging view of masculinity.
“Lots of social media really plays on the insecurities of young men,” one student said.
“There will be people who you’ll see on social media who will always be doing things better than you.”
The boys described how gym influencers can often create unrealistic standards by showing off their wealth and muscular physiques – while reinforcing the idea that men should be physically dominant and emotionally repressed.
Their comments come after recent data revealed a shift in the emotional wellbeing of boys in Jersey – with their self esteem falling more sharply than girls for the first time since records began in 2006.
The Children and Young People’s Survey, conducted by Statistics Jersey and published in April, revealed that 81% of secondary school boys reported high self-esteem, down from 84% in 2021.
The same survey showed that 42% of boys had spent more than five hours online the day before the survey, and 15% said they felt pressure to look a certain way on social media.
Speaking on the latest epsiode of Bailiwick Podcasts, the students said gym culture – a strong focus on working out, gaining muscle, and following fitness influencers – has increased massively since the pandemic, and become wrapped up with ideas about status and identity.
“Gym culture is something that’s really come up post-Covid,” one student explained.
“It can be something that’s really healthy… but when it’s taken to more of an extreme level, when you start comparing yourself with other people and looking to have that perfect body, that’s when it becomes an issue.”
Several said they knew people who started going to the gym to attract women, only to find what they were working toward wasn’t even based on what women actually wanted.
“Men are told by other men that women want a bodybuilder… which, from what my female friends have told me, is not what they want,” one teenager said.
The students said the increase in young people going to the gym has been driven by influencers showing off their physiques – alongside their wealth.
“A big part of masculinity that gets shown online is the cars and the cheques and wealth that gets flaunted around,” one explained.
“It shoehorns you into thinking that to be masculine and to be a good man is to be wealthy or rich.”
He added: “You can be a man to a great degree, no matter how much you earn or how many cars you have. That’s not a determinant of how good you are as a person.”
Others described how those expectations – “amazing jobs, amazing houses, really cool cars” – promoted online can create a sense that if you don’t live up to those standards, you’re falling short.
Alongside physical pressures, the students said that online and offline spaces can still promote stereotypes that young men shouldn’t express vulnerability or talk about their mental health.
“There’s definitely a stereotype with boys our age that we repress our emotions a lot and don’t talk about our feelings enough with our friends,” one teenager said.
Others said this depends on the friendship group – but that for more “popular” boys, the stigma can be even greater.
One teenager said: “The further up you go in that hierarchy, and how popular you are, the more difficult it becomes to share your feelings… because it’s still got that stigma of being seen as a weakness.”
Some said the roots of that stereotype are long-standing – “historic”, even – but are still reinforced in modern media.
“There is a stereotype in the media where the main character will be a man who has sex with loads of women and who doesn’t talk about his feelings,” one said.
“I think it’s really important to watch films that have a woman protagonist… or a man who is very open about his emotions.”
The young men said more positive role models are needed – and pointed to figures like presenter Jamie Laing, who they admired for showing emotion in public, and football manager Gareth Southgate, who they said spoke about role models and the pressures young men face.
One also mentioned author and broadcaster Stephen Fry, whom they looked up to for being “kind” and “clever”.
“What gives me hope is positive male role models who openly endorse discussion about things like mental health,” one student added.
The sixth formers also felt that encouraging boys to socialise with a wider range of people, especially girls, helps to break down stereotypes and develop more balanced perspectives on politics and masculinity.
“I think one of the most positive things is to encourage boys, especially in their more formative years, to socialise with a broad range of people, especially girls,” one said.
Another teen added: “I think the best thing is that we’re here having a conversation about it.
“If we weren’t addressing this and keeping it to ourselves, we wouldn’t be getting anywhere.”
They called for other young men to understand that masculinity isn’t defined by what you see online, and that it is important to be honest about who you are and how you feel.
“I think that if more young men talked about their feelings, were more open about their emotions, they would be seen as more attractive by other people,” one said.
Another boy added: “People will like you best if you are the real you.”
LISTEN…
To mark Men’s Mental Health Awareness Week, Express sat down with five sixth-form students to talk about what it’s really like growing up as a teenage boy in today’s world.
From gym culture and body image to pornography, politics, online radicalisation and the rise of far-right influencers, the boys speak openly about what they’re seeing, what worries them, and what gives them hope…