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AGONY AUNT: How do I not mess up the happiest day of my life?

AGONY AUNT: How do I not mess up the happiest day of my life?

Monday 28 August 2023

AGONY AUNT: How do I not mess up the happiest day of my life?

Monday 28 August 2023

Jersey's favourite socialite-turned-Agony Aunt has been addressed once again, this time to deal with nuptial nerves from an anxious bride-to-be.

Here's what Worried in Ouaisné had to say...

Dear Fenella,

I'm getting married next year and whilst I'm very excited to be marrying the love of my life, I'm terrified about organising the whole thing! I'm also not great at being the centre of attention so I'm worried that I'm going to make the wrong decisions/be an awkward bride on the day and everyone will talk behind our backs about how weird our wedding was.

I'm having a hard time visualising what I even want the wedding to look like, so can you give me some inspiration/a good talking to so I don't mess up what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life!?

Loads of love,

Worried in Ouaisné x

Hi babes,

First of all, HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on the wedding and the fact you called your future spouse the "love of your life" – that is tooooo cute!! Now, it's very important to address the fact that a huge amount of pressure is heaped on weddings. Especially women are made to feel like their entire value and identity hinges on whether they ever walk down the aisle and then how good they look whilst they're doing the walking. And let's just take a moment to acknowledge how sucky it is that the patriarchy is always trying to keep us girlbosses down. Ugh. Total nightmare! So, I want to reassure you that feeling overwhelmed is totally normal and valid.

BUT having said that, you need to get over it. Because you don't have time to fret! There's a wedding to plan!! And only a year to do it in!

Don't stress, though, because your Auntie Fenella has all the makings of a perfect wedding planner: I've got great taste and a type A personality, I don't understand the value of money and I have a general disregard for the consequences of what I say and how it affects people's feelings. All that is suffice to say: you're in safe, beautifully manicured hands, babycakes!


Pictured: "You don't have time to fret! There's a wedding to plan!! And only a year to do it in!"

Anyway, you've already done the hard part, which is finding someone who wants to marry you! So, all of this stuff should be a breeze. Here is your no-nonsense guide to planning the perfect wedding, courtesy of yours truly...

The basics (although nothing is ever simple when it comes to weddings!):

Decide on your colour scheme: are you a simple white-and-green kind of couple or is everything in vivid technicolour? Nothing wrong with either, but choose something that feels authentically 'you'. The colour palette will dictate a lot, so think about this one!

Choose a vibe: do you have the vision (and the savings) for a big, luxe wedding at a stately home? Or are you more registry and beach BBQ? If clear, both can be done very beautifully. But make sure the vibe is clear. Black tie or board shorts? Pick a lane and stick to it!

Once you know your vibe and your colour scheme, a lot will fall into place, I promise. Venue, dress code, styling, flowers – all hinge on colours and vibes... tick, tick, tick, tick!

See, we're breaking it into bitesize chunks. Just like when you and your partner started dating, you didn't inundate them with a huge wave of everything in your personality on the first date, did you? No, you did what every woman has figured out to do which is drip-feed their true selves over a long period of time so that our other halves don't even realise it's happening. Ahhhh, love.


Pictured: "Once you know your vibe and your colour scheme, a lot will fall into place, I promise."

Not that you asked, but the wedding of my dreams will be a chic, understated 1920s-themed extravaganza. Simple yet extravagant, colourful yet muted, over-the-top yet subtle. You see what I mean about picking a vibe and sticking to it? Very, very important.

When it comes to the rest of the arrangements for the wedding, I can only offer you a few pearls of wisdom that you must take as GOSPEL. These tips can be applied across the board, whether it's choosing your cake or picking out the perfect wedding outfits:

  • Don't settle for anything less than perfection (my motto in weddings and in life).

  • Consult your partner, but be prepared to overrule them if their idea of perfect doesn't really 'go'.

  • Put double the amount behind the bar and halve the speeches (you'll thank me later for this one).

  • The most important thing is that your DJ plays music people will DANCE TO, so choose your disc jockey wisely.

  • Treat yourself to everything you need to feel beautiful on the day (the photos will be around FOREVER).

  • Get a wedding video – it captures the whole thing in ways stills just can't.

  • Don't feel obliged to invite anyone who has wronged you.

Enjoy yourselves, you deserve it!

Oh, and try not to get too drunk, that's tacky too.


Pictured: "Put double the amount behind the bar and halve the speeches."

OMG, I love a wedding! I am just so happy for you and I know even though you're stressed out right now, do try and enjoy the process. If all goes well you're only going to do this once so make it count and don't spend the whole time freaking out. But do get a move on because you've not got long!

Send me wedding pics! And let me know if you want me to be your wedding planner!!

Love you long time,

Auntie Fenella xxx


This article first appeared in the June edition of Connect Magazine, which you can read in full below...

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