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AGONY AUNT: When nasty comments make for Botox blues

AGONY AUNT: When nasty comments make for Botox blues

Sunday 26 September 2021

AGONY AUNT: When nasty comments make for Botox blues


Jersey’s favourite socialite-turned-Agony Aunt has been asked to ‘fill in’ a Botoxed islander on how best to handle nasty comments from friends and family.

This month, Fenella Bond dishes her advice to 'Toned in Trinity’...

Dear Fenella,

I’m a mature woman who has worked hard in her life and I enjoy taking care of myself. I have a personal trainer, a beautician, a stylist, a manicurist, and a dermatologist who are all working hard so that I feel I’m at my best.

I’m also not ashamed to admit that I’ve had some filler and Botox in my time and would consider having more significant procedures. I don’t have a problem with this, but I’m copping a lot of nasty comments from my friends and family about it which I find really hurtful. 

From one badass lady to another – how am I supposed to handle this? Hope you can help. 

Love from, 

Toned in Trinity xxx

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Pictured: "Give yourself permission to take up space, spend your money however you like and don’t let the haters get to you, girlie!"

Hi babes, 

Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way first: I literally want to be you when I grow up. Like I can tell from the way you wrote your letter that you are genuinely cooler than the Skinny Almond Iced Latte I order every morning.

You sound so confident and at ease with yourself and the lifestyle you have built for yourself and for that you have my kudos (this is not an honour you should take lightly – FYI). Can we be friends? Link us up on insta, babe, I feel a totally awesome collab coming on! 

At least, that was my initial reaction to your letter before you started talking about how you’re letting the opinions of irrelevant and (I’m guessing not very attractive) people dull your shine. I’m sorry, but have you forgotten WHO YOU ARE? You are TONED FROM TRINITY, no less! How dare they even open their weird mouths to speak ill of your fabulous life?! Tell me who they are, babes, DM me the names and I’ll have a word – promise.

Okay, now we’ve got some of the tough love out of the way, Fenella needs to have some real talk. Now, this is hard for me to admit but your letter has really spoken to me, and you have truly inspired me to be brave. 

Even I, Fenella Bond, have insecurities, okay? There, I said it. It’s not easy for me to do this, but I wanted to prove to you that my advice comes from a place of love and understanding: 

I HAVE SAGGY ELBOW SKIN.

Oh my gosh, I cannot believe that I’m doing this. I’m crying real tears as I type this to you, but part of me feels relieved to have admitted it after all these years of living a lie. My insecurity led me to have a minor corrective surgery so that I could finally have my arms out in public again and honestly it was the best decision I ever made.

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Pictured: "I HAVE SAGGY ELBOW SKIN."

It may come as a major shock to you, but I wasn’t always the confident glamour-puss that you see splashed across your newsfeed and in magazines today. I was a droopy-elbowed freak who always had to wear sleeves no matter how hot it was outside. Until one day, I said: “Fenella, you droopy-elbowed freak, get your life and your arm skin in ORDER!”

See, I’ve always been good at giving advice – even if it was just to myself. 

All the energy I would pour into hating my flappy elbows in a spiralling inner monologue of sheer self-criticism – I can now devote to other things like flaunting my otherwise flawless form in public and on my social media channels #bossbabe!

So you see, Toned, my struggle is your struggle. 

Believe me when I say I get you 100%. You clearly are a woman who knows what she wants and if anyone else is trying to stand in the way of that then they are jeopardising your journey to er, your inner sanctum of peace and the – what was it? – road to self-discovery (or something like that!)

I wanted to tell you that your letter really reminded me of a time I was in Paris with a close personal friend of mine (who I can’t identify but their name definitely doesn’t rhyme with Smim Smarsmashian). I was heartbroken and in my head about everything at the time and she turned to me and said these words to me: “what other people think of you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.” Oh, Smim, you’re so wise.

Repeat that after me: What other people think of me is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. 

From one badass lady to another, mark my words: there are people out there who will see your power and your radiance as a threat and want to pull you down because it makes them feel bad about their own lives. But that’s not your problem! Give yourself permission to take up space, spend your money however you like and don’t let the haters get to you, girlie! 

Surround yourself with people who will support your choices no matter what. Like, for instance, me! (Seriously though, hit me up, babe, I genuinely want to be your bestie!) 

Stay beautiful, babycakes!

Auntie Fenella xxx

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