Select a region
A complete outage of important business which has left politicians with nothing to debate for several weeks has been blamed on a piece of “rogue parliamentary code”.
For several days, States Members have been unable to vent hot air or conduct their usual shower after their supply of vital propositions was suddenly cut off.
Left without the power to make decisions, the Assembly has kept warm by debating meaningless backbench minutiae which either no one agrees with or everyone agrees with.
The outage of decent legislation was blamed on an errant code of practice which shut down all parts of the executive simultaneously, prompting Ministers to hide behind lofty strategies and opaque hyperbole, or propose legislation which won’t be debated for several months / years.
Politicians have been told by utility Island Apathy to pull something called the 'Emergency Reform Valve' in an attempt to kickstart the democratic process.
Efforts have been made to reignite the Assembly’s business by Reform but so far there has only been low pressure applied, in the form of an endless set of easily dodgeable questions.
Customers across the island have been left furious by the slow pace of Ministers to reconnect with the electorate. Senior politicians have said they are doing all they can to help by reposting key messages from Island Apathy.
Island Apathy has said that their next announcement will be in June 2026, when another attempt at electoral reconnection will be made, with hopefully no engineering required.
The only sign of a spark of interest recently was a backbench proposal to save the Jersey Reds, and even that was reacting to events and doomed to fail.
And meanwhile the people of Jersey are left in the dark, powerless and running on empty, and increasingly looking at self-restoration as the answer to the outage.
