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REVIEW: Not quite the GOAT... But holy schnitzel!

REVIEW: Not quite the GOAT... But holy schnitzel!

Monday 29 August 2022

REVIEW: Not quite the GOAT... But holy schnitzel!

Monday 29 August 2022


This month's dispatch from Express' secretive food reviewer is a mixed tale of disappointment and delight.

Here's what Harry Smiles had to say about his latest visits to El Tico and Meat & Eat...

From disappointment...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in want of some grub will sometimes have to face disappointment - even when it comes to favoured establishments, as I learned recently.

I have always dearly loved El Tico - I adore St. Ouen’s Bay and, after a walk on a sunny, windy day, there are no better places to refuel.

Yet, one of my recent visits failed to provide the enjoyment I always expected of the place. 

It had all started under the best auspices, the day was as glorious as could be and my lunch buddy and I only had to wait for 15 minutes for a table (given El Tico’s popularity, this felt like a win). 

St_Ouen_s_Bay.jpg

Pictured: I love St. Ouen's Bay and, after a walk on a sunny, windy day, there are no better places to refuel than El Tico. 

To start with, we decided to share a portion of nachos, topped off with pulled pork.

As the photo of a half-eaten portion will attest, those were as appealing visually as they were gustatively.

Things however went downhill with main course.

El_Tico_-_Nachos.jpg

Pictured: Those were appealing visually as they were gustatively. 

I ordered a goat’s cheese salad (word of warning, this is not gluten-free, but I took my chances after speaking to the team, as I'm only intolerant - proceed with caution GF pals).

Whilst the goat’s cheese, covered in crusty walnuts, was delightful, I was quite dismayed by the salad itself.

It consisted of merely a handful of leaves and a couple of cherry tomatoes – nothing more. To say the whole result was underwhelming would be an understatement.

El_Tico_-_Goat_s_Cheese.jpg

Pictured: The GOAT... or not.

The roasted beetroot chutney was a nice addition but sadly not enough to rescue the salad.

Salads are easy enough to make, but it can be equally easy to completely miss the mark - this was such an example. 

...to delight

On the flip side, Meat & Eat recently rescued a family dinner from the brink of disaster and they deserve massive kudos, not only for being a lovely bunch of people but also for their top notch food.

After one of our usual gluten-free haunts turned us away when we failed to advise them one of us would be requiring a gluten-free option (bearing in mind we never had to do so before and nothing was mentioned when we made the booking), we had to think on our feet to find an alternative place to dine. We settled on Meat & Eat as we knew our guests wouldn’t be disappointed by their steak whilst I could happily settle for a salad. 

The team couldn’t have made us feel more welcome, they patiently discussed the dining requirements of our youngest guest, all the while apologising for their “reduced menu”– not a problem in our book as there was still plenty to choose from. 

Meat__Eat_-_Schnitzel.jpg

Pictured: Holy schnitzel!

Instead of a salad, I eventually opted for the chicken schnitzel (warning, this is not gluten-free!) and, reader, I did not regret my choices.

It was full of flavour, crispy and well complimented by the addition of parmesan shavings and some rocket

It was genuinely heavenly, and had I not been stuffed due to the generous portion served, I would have gone for seconds; especially considered it only cost £11.95 when it could have easily cost more on account of its deliciousness alone. (Side note: the goat’s cheese salad cost £12.95

Meat__Eat.jpg

Pictured: Funky décor at Meat & Eat.

I suppose the moral of the story is, don’t stick to your favourites. Go and explore, my friends - your taste buds will thank you! 

READ MORE...

This article first appeared in the August edition of Connect Magazine. You can read it in full below and browse all the editions for free HERE

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