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The project team behind the famous Sagrada Familia church in Barcelona is advising the Government on how to build Jersey’s new hospital on time and on budget.
The Spanish experts have offered their help after identifying that the Our Hospital project is likely to be costlier and take more time than their own.
Members of the Jersey project board are now eagerly learning how the church has only taken 138 years to build so far and cost a meagre 374m euros, less than half of the projected total cost of the Jersey hospital.
One of the Government team said: “Our Spanish advisers only had to endure two world wars, a bloody civil war, years of dictatorship and the untimely death of the church’s designer. They should try dealing with Scrutiny and those pesky Westmount residents!
“But we hope that we can learn a lot on building efficiency from the Sagrada Familia team; after all, they’ve at least got a plan to work from! It might be a burnt out matchstick model retrieved from Gaudi’s flat after he was run over by a tram in 1926, but it’s more than we have.”
It is also believed that the advisory board also includes project managers from the Three Gorges Dam, Berlin Airport, the Millennium Dome and HS2, all seen as outstanding examples of construction efficiency by the Jersey Our Hospital team.
Pictured: The controversial HS2 project is getting PR advice from Jersey.
It is also understood that in return for giving their advice, the HS2 advisers have negotiated a contra-deal with Our Hospital head Senator Lyndon Farnham, which involves him giving them PR advice.
One of the HS2 team told News Eye: “When we heard him say on the radio the other day: ‘The intention is not to lose a single tree’, we - like most people - understood that meant not a single tree would be lost.
“But it appears that what he actually meant is that 200-year-old trees will be axed left, right and centre … BUT they will be replaced by tiny saplings and bushes somewhere else. Possibly in Jersey.
“His ridiculous logic is PR genius. With HS2, we now want to say: 'There is no intention to lose a single medieval village’, but, in fact, we’re going to bulldozer loads and replace them with bland housing estates in the next county.
”I don’t think even Donald Trump’s advisers could have spun it so sweetly. Thank you, Senator Farnham!”
Meanwhile, News Eye can exclusively reveal one Overdale plan that has been drawn up by the Government.
After Senator Le Fondré visited Mount Rushmore on his last Prayer Breakfast trip to America, this is how the top of Westmount will be landscaped as part of the access road modifications...
Pictured: The favoured landscaping for the top of Westmount, near Gallows Hill.
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