From suspiciously visionary planning proposals to a suspiciously tiny new police vehicle, the island’s jokers were out in force this April Fools’ Day (and Express couldn’t resist getting in on the action either). Here’s our round-up of some of the top jokes we spotted on Channel Island social media channels on 1 April… how many did you fall for?
New depths…
St Helier’s lifeboat station took things to new depths this April Fools’, unveiling the RNLI’s first-ever submersible.
With training in periscope spotting and emergency tea brewing at 30 metres, the crew promised to save lives under the sea – just as soon as they figured out how to launch it without terrifying the local fish.
Have you met the new Housing Minister?
In a plot twist nobody saw coming (except maybe Broadlands’ marketing team), CEO Roger Trower was “appointed” Jersey’s new Housing Minister. His first acts? Axe stamp duty for second homes, give locals a break, and overhaul the buying process… while sporting some garb Mr Trump himself would approve of.
Beware the police’s new buggy
Speed demons, beware… Yesterday, the police unveiled their latest pursuit vehicle: a Citroën Ami Buggy.
With a blistering top speed of 27mph, it was dubbed ideal for navigating Jersey’s lanes (and possibly being overtaken by cyclists). An adorable, if impractical, addition to community crime-fighting.
Fancy a stay at the Healing Lofts?
Move over St Brelade’s Bay – yesterday, Express informed islanders Jersey’s hottest new holiday destination would soon be Gloucester Street, where the former hospital was due to be turned into a medical-themed AirBnb…
Reply without the hassle
Why wait for a handwritten reply when Jersey Post can guess it for you? Their new ‘Auto-Reply Letters’ service promised instant responses with slightly questionable accuracy…
A ‘world class’ sunset bar
Sunsets, spritzes and… 500 metres of pier? A bold new plan to transform Jersey’s west coast into a “world-class destination” reported in the Jersey Evening Post had islanders picturing themselves sipping cocktails over the Atlantic – until they checked the date.
An oldie, but a goodie
Jersey Heritage decided to throw it back to 1977, when a German soldier who didn’t realise the war had ended was discovered in a bunker in Trinity…
Meat and greet
Why walk into the shop when you can pick up your ribeye on the run? Gary Whitelaw announced Jersey’s first drive-thru butchers, promising fast meat with zero parking stress.
Get mooving
A couple of curious cows reportedly wandered into St Mary’s community centre overnight. The call-out for the owner warned of “udder chaos” inside…
PouTesta™
It’s the collab no one saw coming… Local company Poubelle and Tesla yesterday announced that they had created the world’s first disposable, handheld dog poo DNA tester, carrying the slogan: “Compostable, compact, and deeply controversial.”
It scans a sample, identifies the dog, the owner, and even what it had for dinner… or so they said…
Grab your paddle
There was also some ‘foolish’ fun happening around the islands…
In a bold bid to beat rising costs, Guernsey-based Island RIB Voyages announced they’d be swapping high-speed thrills for a human-powered paddling convoy. Up to 12 inflatable boats tied together, with a guide at the back and dreams of hitting 25 knots – as long as everyone paddles like mad.
Spotted: An “incredible display of nature”
Just as Herm’s new single prop sea plane took off, Dave Davidson managed to snap an Attenborough-worthy shot, which he shared with the good people of Guernsey…
