6 kitchen gadgets even more pointless than the Egg Master

4 months ago

This week the internet went a bit mental over a terrifying new kitchen gadget, known simply as the Egg Master. Crack an egg into the device and it will turn your runny yolk and whites into a cooked egg on a stick in just minutes. Which is actually even more horrific than it sounds.

But the Egg Master isn’t the only completely pointless gadget to hit the kitchen counter. Here are six utensils you definitely do not need in your life.

1. Tefal Fresh Express

£69.99, Currys

Doesn’t slicing vegetables take the fun out of cooking? No, not really. But if you can’t be bothered to spend a few minutes of your day preparing your produce before you cook it, this gadget will save your precious arms from slicing courgettes or grating cheese.

Unfortunately, the device requires you to cut your desired fruit or vegetables into small chunks to fit in the machine, thus defeating the entire purpose of the product, unless you exclusively buy only really small fruits and vegetables from now on. Sadly, Tefal are yet to invent a device that will actually chew your food for you, so you’re still going to have to do that yourself :(.

2. Selfie Toaster

$69.95 (£44.84), BurntImpressions.com

Start your day off right by munching a piece of toast with your face burnt on to it. Upload your best selfie to BurntImpressions.com and they’ll create a custom insert for your toaster, branding your grinning head on to each and every slice of bread.

Think how useful this could be! Treat your loved one to a surprise piece of selfie toast to remind them how tasty you are, or invite your one night stand to smear your face with jam or peanut butter after an evening of debauchery.

3. Bogey Man Egg Seeparator

£5.74, Amazon

If you enjoy making your food look like bodily fluids, this is the gadget for you. Simply crack an egg into the Bogey Man’s head and watch your egg whites drip our his nose! Anyone for an egg white omelette? No?

4. Eddingtons Egg Cuber

£5.50, Amazon

We’re not sure what the human race has against eggs, but there’s apparently quite a market for modifying our poor yolked friends. Who knew that a normal, spherical egg could cause such offence?

Apparently the traditional egg shape is too passé for the creators of the Egg Cuber, and we should live in a world where eggs are square and life is meaningless. If a cubed egg is for some reason more appealing to you than the normal, run-of-the-mill variety, you need to take a long hard look at your life values.

5. Neat Ideas Salad Spinner

£7.99, Amazon

Stop weeping into your soggy lettuce leaves RIGHT NOW, salad fans. There’s no need to let a slightly moist leaf pass your lips ever again, with the help of a salad spinner.

Wash your salad as usual and give it a whirl in the salad spinner to shake off the pesky water droplets that have been ruining your Caesar salad game for DECADES. HALLELUJAH! For those who don’t have £7.99 kicking around to spare this month, you’re going to have to keep shaking the moisture off your salad like everybody else, you unworthy peasant.

6. Kitchen Craft Taco shell holder

£9.95, Amazon

Why eat your tacos from a plate when you can dine like royalty with this taco holder? Sadly, this can literally only be used for serving tacos and has no other use, so (unless you’re an avid taco fan), you’re better off shoving that £10 note in the Egg Master, just to find out what happens.